pray for jackson

http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081228/NEWS/81227005

well, this is bizarre.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/12/23/single.men.parenting/index.html

i like these sentences from my gender book:

"Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women,"
argues sociologist Francesca Cancian, "is that men's behavior is
measured with a feminine ruler." This has devalued and displaced and
replaced it with another. "His" expressions of love included sexual
passion, the practical aspects of providing and protecting, ensuring
material survival and mutual aid. "Her' way of loving was sharing
feelings, developing mutual emotional dependency, and nurturing
through talk."

after all, it's just up I-55

http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20081106/NEWS/81106012

this is fun:

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1855000,00.html

things we need

people are always telling us, "if there's anything you need, let us know."

well, since they can't give us a whole night's sleep, i don't really
know what to say.

but i know what i want: a margarita. very badly.

life is getting more manageable. ...I think.

I got to run errands today and felt like a new person.

life is still hard...we haven't really fallen into a rhythm yet, and
Iris is getting bigger and so her eating schedule is changing anyway.
I'm not very good at patterns anyway, so this would be a struggle
anyway. But I do so much better with routine, so I don't know how
we'll work things out. We'll have to have some sort of schedule by the
time I go back to work, so I guess we'll work something out. Iris has
started sleeping longer, which is nice, but it makes feeding her
confusing. We are still bottle-feeding her breastmilk, so it's not
just a matter of letting her eat as much as she likes. But it's
cheaper than formula!

I did go to the lactaction doctor and was going to try straight-up
breast feeding, but I realized that my attempts just made me really
unstable. And since I'm high risk for post partum depression anyway, I
figured it was better to have a sane mommy...especially since she's
still getting breast milk. Maybe for our second kid, I'll have had
enough therapy and know what I"m doing enough to be a good breast
feeder. But I do like being sane.

This is not very coherent. Sorry. I still definitely feel like I'm not
sure what the heck I'm doing--and I'm still nervous about bathing
her--which is why she smells so milky. But we are both champion diaper
changers. And fortunately, Iris doesn't explode too many diapers.

Okay. I think I need to feed her.

She's really really precious. I tried to take pictures of her today,
but the camera batteries didn't work.

a little catch up

so... wehadababyitsagirl.

this is what i wrote for facebook:

So, last night (well, october first) at 7:03 (19:03 military time),
Iris was born.

We went to the hospital at 5:30 AM to be induced (this meant I
couldn't eat or drink anything after midnight the night before--it
stunk.) They gave me pitocin and broke my water (roy thought it was
really scary) and then I labored and labored and labored...and it was
painful, though not the end of the world, and the reason why it wasn't
painful enough was because I didn't make very much progress--not
enough to have a baby. So after ten hours of labor(during which Roy
rubbed my feet and back at great sacrifice to himself), the doctor
told me that I probably needed a c-section, because I wasn't making
progess. I was kinda scared of that, but I'd been in pain for a long
time, and wanted to have a baby, so we decided to go for it. A funny
thing: I wanted to ask my sister Betsy/Elizabeth, because she's in
physician's assistant school, but when we tried to get in touch with
her, her husband said that she had just gone into surgery (she's
observing them right now) and I said, "well, if she's in surgery, why
not me?" And then Roy and I talked for like 30 seconds and I said, "My
righteousness is in Jesus, not how I give birth." And he said, "Yeah,
you can do what you want, I love you."

So we had to go chase down the doctor, who probably didn't expect us
to make our decision quite so quickly. And then I got ready for
surgery. Roy got to wear a doctor outfit (I'm sure you can find
pictures) and loved it. I actually really enjoyed the c-section. I'd
been in pain for so long that to not feel pain just made me feel
WONDERFUL. I had a spinal block, so I couldn't move my legs (and even
way up into my trunk)...it feel like my legs were in concrete and all
prickly. They poked me with things to make sure the feeling was gone.
Roy got to come. I was happy. There was a sheet in front of me so I
couldn't see what was going on, but I could hear. The doctor said,
"Oh, that's a big head!" and then "that's a big baby!" I couldn't see
at that point, but Roy watched. I did hear the doctor grunting,
though, and I threw up multiple times, and between the big baby being
pulled out of a small hole and my throwing up, one of the nurses
hyperventilated and had to run out of the room. It was really
exciting. We got to see her really quick before they took her back to
be cleaned up--she was light purple looking. and Huge. Then Roy got to
go see her (but I was still stuck in the bed and I couldn't move
except for my arms). And they made someone go get a camera so he could
take pictures. The staff at the hospital was super sweet. It was
really funny, they made predictions about how big the baby was as they
were pulling her out. She ended up being 9 pounds, 2 ounces. I mean, a
big ol' baby! Also, 20.5 inches.

And so she was born and I got to see her for a little bitty second and
Roy got to take her to the nursery, and then I had to go "recover." It
was really crazy waiting for the feeling to come back into my legs and
body--it was a while before I could wiggle my toes.

After a while I finally got to see Iris (at first it was just
pictures) and I fed her and it was really sweet. She's such a
beautiful girl! We think she looks kinda like a tomato or an eskimo.
We love her so much--there's a lot to love.
_____________________________

so...now our little girl is two weeks and a day old. and i don't know
how much she weighs. but i think it's close to ten pounds. she is
absolutely the most beautiful human being i've ever seen. she's also
congested right now and i'm glad her mumsie is coming so i can make
sure it's not a big deal.

having a child is so weird. besides the whole loss of sleep thing,
there's so many things to worry about. for instance, iris doesn't
like to breast feed. and she was jaundiced when we left the hospital.
of course, she would be, since she wasn't getting any milk, so she
couldn't pass anything. so that ol' bilirubin didn't have any place to
go and it just stayed in her body. they send us home with a
biliblanket and made us come back the next day. the nurse said that if
she didn't get better, we'd have to put her in the hospital! talk
about scary! and since she cried everytime she saw my breasts, they
taught me how to pump, and let me rent a pump from them. but it's
really hard not to feel like a failure because iris doesn't want to
breastfeed. she is getting breast milk, so she's getting everything
she needs, and pumping is actually a pretty good deal for me, because
it means that roy can feed her without me--so I get more sleep, but...
and i'm not sure that i'm not going to not try to breast
feed...but...even though no one has been mean about it and mostly
everyone has been encouraging, it's hard not to feel like a second
class mommy because my daughter doesn't like my breasts. that's a
pretty intimate rejection, especially to occur repeatedly....'cause
you have to keep trying to feed her.

there's just so many things to worry about if you're screwing
up...like if she got a pacifier too early (and if that's one of the
reasons she doesn't like to nurse) or if we hold her too much while
she's asleep, or if we don't play with her enough when she's awake....
etc., etc., etc...

all this makes me feel more like an incompetent little sister caring
for someone else's baby than a real mom. but she's still alive and
roy is great with her, and she's really Jesus' baby, not ours, and He
won't let us screw her up permanently. roy is really encouraging, too,
even though i think we've also been more unhappy with each other than
ever before--but I think we can chalk that up to lack of sleep--and
different philosophies of pacifier use. we've also had really sweet
times together, too, and not just emily-roy-iris times, but roy-emily
times.

So... God is still good. and i'm a little bit more basketcase-y than
usual...definitely very insecure about being a "mother." I'd probably
be a lot more confident if i were like a pioneer wife or something and
had to do it all by myself, without other people to compare myself to.

A note about pictures: because there are mean people abounding in the
world, we don't want to put pictures of iris up just for everyone to
see--so there are some on facebook. if you can't get to facebook, let
me know and i'll send you some pictures. because she is beautiful! and
worth all the insecurity.

okay. bye!

i had a baby

and i'm really tired. that's all.

another article, this one about marriage

i thought this was interesting...especially since i make roy talk to
me all the time. of course, it's from oprah, and i haven't gotten roy
to check out it's biblicalness...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/09/26/o.improve.your.marriage/index.html

but i think i liked the most what it said about compassion.

pray for our car

every time we get it fixed, it starts to break down again.

this isn't a really good time not to have a car, either.

love,
Emily

this is why i shouldn't read the new york times at work:

because this article made me cry.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/21/fashion/21love.html?pagewanted=1&em

but it's really good. maybe not quite appropriate for the next week
in my life, but...it is a little applicable. but it's really sad. if
you are pregnant, you might want to skip it.

if you do read it, i think it raises some interesting questions. it
does seem like our culture (big culture and subculture) doesn't really
have a good way to deal with unborn loss. Please don't turn this into
something about abortion--i realize it's related, but that's not what
i'm interested in.

this is a quote from the man after he sent out an email to his
college, telling about his still-born son:

"AND then came the outpouring: for weeks after, people I barely knew
would come into my office, gently shut the door and burst into tears.
I heard stories of single and serial miscarriages, pregnancies carried
nearly to full term, stillbirths — all the lost, lost children. Grief
hauled about, and nowhere to put it down. Some said they had never
told anyone; who would understand?"

When we lost our baby (our first baby, even if I don't take the time
to explain why I want to say "no" when people ask if Iris is our first
baby..I just say yes and move on), people kept telling us all their
sad stories, like our grief gave them permission to sort of re-grieve
and be sad again, even though some of them were very matter-of-fact,
and almost even jolly about their losses. At the time, i really wanted
to bitterly resent their sadness, that I was having to carry their
burden as well as the heavy weight of my own. I'm still not sure that
I would tell someone I knew had recently miscarried about mine. Nobody
else lost OUR baby, the pieces of DNA that could only come from me and
Roy and that merged together in a unique (and probably fatal) way and
lived in my belly for a little while.

And we are delighted to have Iris but she isn't the baby we lost.

this post maybe continued...but i really have to stop now. but anyway.
our culture sucks at baby grief. how can it get better?

stuff and baby update:

I've really been enjoying reading this:

http://commongroundsonline.typepad.com/common_grounds_online/2008/09/cgo-forum-on-de.html

best headline for the day, from our very own clarion ledger:
"Grant sought to catch dumpers"
http://clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080919/NEWS/809190347&referrer=FRONTPAGECAROUSEL

I am now at 39 weeks... only one more week til my due date. I'm not
going to quote babycenter because all it says is that Iris is getting
fatter and changing her skin. My weight has stabilized a little
though. I am having contractions occasionally, but not enough to have
a baby. I'm trying to have patience. Also, I have a date to be
induced: October 1. While I hope I don't have to use it, it's so nice
to know there's an end in sight and I won't be pregnant forever.

this looks tasty.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/17/dining/17mini.html?em

yes, this is my state...

we still have white supremacist rallies...in the town were i was born.
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080915/NEWS/809150338&referrer=FRONTPAGECAROUSEL

this is scary, i think:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/americas/09/11/venezuela.us/index.html

i know i'm pregnant

but this made me cry:

http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080912/SPORTS030102/809120335/1079

i'm not a football nerd, i promise

http://web1.ncaa.org/football/exec/rankingSummary?year=2008&org=430

this made me chuckle:

This is a short excerpt from a book review in the Wilson Quarterly (we get it at work). The book being reviewed is called Original Sin: A Cultural History and is written by a Wheaton professor.

"Jacob's most original and provocative argument is that original sin has strong democratic implications. Denial of original sin leads to elitism....Original sin, on the other hand, is egalitarian because it means that everyone is alienated from God and has an innate tendency to sin. Equally egalitarian is the belief that Christ died in order to give everyone the liberty to escape sin. No one person can dare to consider himself or herself better than others, and no nation or race should dare to do so either. Jacobs offers this fascinating angle on the age-old debate in a splendid book."

The reviewer is an emeritus professor of history at UC-Santa Barbara.

Who knew that was original and provocative?!

i'm not in labor...

but here are two interesting NYTimes stories:

this one is interesting because i'm taking a gender class this semester:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/09/science/09tier.html?em

this one because i know so many nurses...and wonder what a preacher
would say to this lady:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/09/health/09case.html?em

Baby update!

I am 37 weeks today! that means...three weeks until my due date, but
also that Iris is full-term and can happily survive outside the ol'
uterus. Yay!

Here's the babycenter update:
How your baby's growing:
Congratulations — your baby is full term! This means that if your baby
arrives now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to
life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks
away.

Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head
to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of
hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But
don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours.
Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their
children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have
been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies
sport only peach fuzz.

I also have this horrible rash. it's associated with being pregnant,
but not all pregnant people have it. But it's terrible. I have
hydrocortisone cream and benadryl that i'm taking and it's making it
better, but i'm still itching and i have weird bumps spreading over my
body. Pray that I don't scratch myself to death. I've never been good
at not-scratching, and it's even worse because I have very little
comfortable clothes still...and even fewer that I can wear to work.

We have one last baby shower this saturday. If anyone wants to
volunteer to help us organize all our stuff, feel free. Maybe Saturday
later afternoon? We still need to get a lot of our stuff out of the
way.

We do have a car seat now...we just need to get it into the car. And
our car is fixed and will run safely, too. Yay! But I don't have a bag
packed. Maybe I'll do that this weekend. Also, if anyone wants to
make mix cds for us to listen to during labor, feel free.

oh, and also, I'm one centimeter dilated. This doesn't mean anything
except that the process has started...i could have a baby now or five
weeks from now. I'm kinda hoping that the full moon (september 15)
will have an effect. I don't think I would be so eager to deliver if
it wasn't for this darn rash...I want to be not-pregnant so it will go
away!

Well, I have a lot a lot a lot to do at work, so I'd better go, but
that's our story for today.

baby update:

How your baby's growing:
Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an
ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon)
and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy
covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa,
the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her
nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances,
along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called
meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term.
(Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term
and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a
head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest
scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of
saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by
manipulating her from the outside of your belly.

I have FOUR weeks left! that is, two - six weeks. whoa.

also, we're going to starkville this weekend! but still coming back in
time to see my dear friends who are coming to jackson!

i need to get to work...

a brief complaint:

I'm sorry...I just really do have to complain. or vent or something.
I'm just really sick of my doctor's office. I think I'm okay with my
doctor, but I'm so tired of the d*** office.

So, I slipped and fell Monday night--I was trying to be good and walk
on the sidewalk, not the grass, so it wouldn't be slippery, but there
was mud on the sidewalk and I slipped. I landed on my ankle and my
knee--same leg (now it looks like i have a stigmata on my ankle) and
am scraped and bruised, but fine, as far as I know. Aside from the
excitement that my body would have triggered, I don't think anything
could have happened to Iris and she's still moving around a lot, etc.
But I figured I should probably tell my doctor anyways. I thought I
had an appointment today, so I was just going to wait, but then
yesterday I realized that the appointment was next week. So this
morning before I left for work I called--I figured I'd have to leave a
message for nurse anyway, so it wouldn't matter that it was before
they opened. So I called and listened and followed all the prompts,
and then got a real live person, which was a pleasant surprise...until
she said, "this is the answering service. you'll have to call back
during their business hours to leave a message." I almost cried. It
doesn't make any sense at all. Most of the time you leave messages for
people when they are not there, and speak to them when they are, but
at my doctor's office, you can't leave them a message until they are
there, and heaven forbid you get to speak to a real live person! I'm
so frustrated! This compounds the frustration I'm already feeling
because of waiting so darn long before I get to see the doctor.

There should be some kind of ratio worked out--if the length of time
you see the doctor is less than x% of the time you waited, you should
get a reduction on your bill or something.

Also, because I apparently have the world's best pediatrician, it
makes my OB's office look much worse. Not only do they have a real
person answering the phone, but I can call anytime, day or night, and
reach a doctor. Like, actually talk to the doctor. I don't know how
normal that is, but compared to my OB, it's wonderful!

Okay. Sorry. thank you for listening *reading?* to me.

Back to work.

Places I want to eat in Starkville

Mrs. Rachel's house
Lil Dooey's (Proud winner of another "Herbie" award)
City Bagel
Shaherezad's (sorry I didn't spell that right)

Runner ups:
Bulldog Deli
Starkville Café
Mexico Tipico
MSU Cafeteria
Stromboli's

What else did I leave out?

If only we were going to be there for that many meals! I'm not even sure that Iris has been to Starkville. Can anyone remember?

Mmm... I know that most people will be in Ruston, but...I'm so glad we'll be in Starkville.

Baby update

How your baby's growing:
Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18
inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew
melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing
somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain
about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can
process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is
now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

and kicking me, apparently.

also, most of my maternity shirts don't cover my belly. if i'm nto
careful, i show off all my stretch marks. gross. and my crocs, whcih i
have pretty much worn every day since Roy got them for me in mid may,
have finally worn out and are makign my feet hurt. i've been thinking
i was really tired, but it's relaly just been my feet hurting. there's
also a little swelling goin' on.

on the bright side, only 32 more days until my due date... that's five
weeks, even though technically, it could be plus or minus 2 weeks. ...
our kiddo is three to seven weeks away from arriving. wow.

also, i am having a shower, and this is a craptastically informal way
to invite people, but i'm pregnant and my brain is mush. it's next
saturday, between 11-1 at mrs. leverette's house. leave a comment if
you want to rsvp and let her know you're comoing and i'll give you her
phone number. i'm excited.

okay. i need to get back to work. but befor ethe day is out i want to
mention the two yummy dishes i've made in the past week. roy-tested
and approved.

just plain funny...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/22/sign.vandals.ap/index.html

who do we know who would be most likely to do this?

heartwarming and sad, all at the same time:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/americas/08/22/argentina.dog.tale/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

baby update

How your baby's growing:
Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe)
and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which will help
regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out,
making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central
nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as
well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to
know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health
problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal
nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long
run, they usually do as well as full-term babies.

also, she is kicking a LOT, and sometimes I can even see my skin
move...it's really weird looking.

we are going to the doctor on monday...childbirth classes start the
week after that...we have a car-seat coming (courtesy of my
co-workers!) we have a crib, when roy gets paid next week i'm going to
order the bassinet, i have another shower coming up (let me know if
you want an invite), someone has offered to let me use her baby sling
and a front carrier, i'm going to call a pediatrician today and make
an appointment to get to know her, i'm thinking about my birthplan...
(basically, don't mess with me unless i need it)...

all i need now is a breast pump and a rocking chair. and maybe some
more bottles. and to buy my lil sister's ticket so she can come from
colorado.

just a few...

from Roy's home state:
http://www.time.com/time/quotes/0,26174,1833071,00.html

Go Bulldogs!
http://clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080815/SPORTS030102/808150336&referrer=FRONTPAGECAROUSEL

that's it for now.

i'm not sure this should make me chuckle, but it kinda did.

http://www.neworleanscitybusiness.com/viewFeature.cfm?recid=434

best story of the day so far:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/14/spies.revealed.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

baby stuff sale!

Wed. & Thurs., August 27 & 28, 9am – 6 pm

Thursday-Everything is 25% off

Pear Orchard Presbyterian Church

750 Pear Orchard Rd. – New Multi-Purpose Building(former fellowship
hall, Ridgeland

You may also enter from Northpark Drive and follow the signs.

This is a Consignment Sale for quality toys and baby equipment

Sellers receive 65% of their marked price.

All proceeds benefit POPC Mother's Morning Out and Christ Covenant
School. We reserve the right to have first choice on items put in the
sale for the benefit of our children's programs.

this is troubling:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/13/us/13marriage.html?pagewanted=1

this is in the town i love

http://clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080812/ENT/80812021

saddest story of the day

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/08/12/surrogate.baby/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

now this is funny:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/12/us/politics/12montana.html?pagewanted=1

a good job:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/10/jobs/10starts.html?em

oh dear...

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1829841,00.html

Rick Warren

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1830147-1,00.html

i like this one too!

http://commongroundsonline.typepad.com/common_grounds_online/2008/08/leigh-mcleroy-.html#more

crazy!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/08/11/invisibility.cloak.ap/index.html

baby update, quickly:

How your baby's growing:
This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds (heft a pineapple)
and has passed the 17-inch mark. He's rapidly losing that wrinkled,
alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull
aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap,
thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The
pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are
born with a conehead-like appearance.) These bones don't entirely fuse
until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue
expands during infancy and childhood.\

49 days left, holy crap!

we got our advances of this book today:

http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Where-Eat-Neighborhoods/dp/1578069416/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218037764&sr=1-10

http://www.upress.state.ms.us/books/1118

And I can't stop reading it! I won't get my staff copy until it
actually comes out in September (another good reason to keep working)
but I'm already in love with this book. It's amazing. I keep thinking
of how much Roy will enjoy it when he gets a chance to read it, even
though I'm pretty sure it will make him homesick.

I wish there was a picture of the cover somewhere online, but I'm
afraid there's not.

-Emily

i want this book!

http://www.amazon.com/Home-Novel-Marilynne-Robinson/dp/0374299102/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217947425&sr=1-1

baby update and other good stuff

32 weeks (that means 8 weeks or 56 days left....holy crap!)

By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is
about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus.
You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes
right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth
weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside
the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at
least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as
she plumps up in preparation for birth.

Also, we've definitely felt pointy things poking my belly. I'm not
sure if it was an elbow, hand, foot, or knee, but it was very pointy.
Also, my sister found a free stroller in her NYC apartment building
and it should get here today. I'm excited. I have another dr. app't
monday. (I'm up to every two weeks--have i mentioned that yet?)

Here is a link to be able to download talks from Jackson-Summer RUF,
including an excellent one by my husband! I mean, you can tell he's
still got some baby-preacher kinks to work out, but while I was
listening to him preach, I started to be afraid he'd be really
successful and we'd end up at a mega-church! (Yes, I know...my fears
are bizarre.) Roy loves the gospel.
http://www.fpccollege.org/GenericPage/DisplayPage.aspx?guid=5F11845B-35A7-4A42-97E7-F712BE161906

My first batch of wedding pictures came in. Yay! You are welcome to
come and see them, though since they were taken by my
bridesmaid-sister, there are a very few of the actual event and more
of the entire weekend, as well as shots of the mississippi country
side and horses.

the site i am using (yorkphoto.com) is having free shipping for orders
over $35 until august 8, so i'm hoping to be able to upload all the
rest of the pictures before then, since last time, half the cost of my
order was the shipping--but it was still pretty affordable. And the
pictures have white borders around them, which just looks cooler.

We are also seriously starting to work on clearing out space for
Iris...I've been goign through drawers of stuff and my filing cabinet.
trying to be good about throwing stuff out. I had years and years of
receipts. Some of them, i saw and thought, "gosh, that was from a trip
to Jackson just before I met Roy! I should save it." I did throw that
one out, but I did keep others--some of them from the grocery store
effectively function as a recipe! ...It's kinda funny...I have a lot
of stuff from freshman year (one of the happiest (pre-roy and
pre-counseling) years of my life), and then a lot from senior year +
grad school (also a mostly good time in my life--therapy started
working! and at the end, I met Roy). [Those of you who have known me
through college know that the years in between I was dating someone...
I'm finding it kinda ironic that those years appear like a giant blot,
both in my own memory and in the stuff that I kept. I guess that's
good, really. I want to have plenty o-room to make memories with Roy
and Iris. But I guess it's indicative, too. Anyways...off that track.
] I also still have all my notebooks from all my college and grad
school classes. I'm kinda afraid that I even have my stuff from
highschool squirreled away somewhere. I REALLY loved school and going
to class (I know, I'm a dork). And I still don't want to throw them
away. But I don't think I need to keep them in Iris's room, either.

Roy and I are both just sentimental packrats. He has a whole box
(large shoe box) full of stuff, too, that he calls his "memory box"
and I...well, right now, our whole spare room bed is covered with
stuff that I still can't bear to throw away. So I think we are going
to have to turn into scrapbookers, though not the cutesy kind with
special scissors. We've also saved all the cards from our wedding
gifts, etc., etc., etc. Did anybody else keep them? if so, what did
you do with them? I save all the wedding invitations and christmas
cards I get...I just love feeling _special_.

Of course, we are also coming to realize (at least I am especially)
the importance of filing non-emotional but important stuff--like bills
for having a baby and stuff that we'll need for taxes, and other
bills...right now we don't really have a standardized spot--though I
think we are doing pretty good about paying bills. But this lil baby
coming is certainly making us take stock of all the excess stuff we
have.

Tomorrow will be an epic quest for plain ol' cheap scrapbooks.

Also, Roy has been playing NCAA09 not quite non-stop, but a lot. He's
been playing with Mississippi State (yay! best husband ever!) and as
he finished his season last night, he only lost to LSU, one of our
players came in second in the Heismann race, and another won the Jim
Thorpe award (I think that's right). and he beat wisconsin in the
Capital One bowl. I don't know how much of that is related to our team
and how much to his video game skills, which are pretty amazing, but I
thought it was encouraging. I'm counting down the days to football
season as well as to my daughter's birth--only 29 more!

Okay. I need to go get a ride home.

I hope ya'll all have fantastic weekends!

Emily-n-Irie (our nickname, which is apparently Rastafari slang for
"positive emotions or feelings, or anything that is good. Specifically
it refers to high emotions and peaceful vibrations."

good news...i think:

Mississippi leads nation in low credit card debt
ttp://clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080730/BIZ/80730028

note that the article says "median" not "average"...there's a difference!

baby update

holy crap crap! nine weeks left!

How your baby's growing:
This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. He weighs about 3.3
pounds (try carrying four navel oranges) and is heading into a growth
spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and
body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath
his skin. He's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble
sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take
comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and
healthy.
(babycenter.com)

yeah, she's putting a lot of pressure on the ol' ribs right now.

also, i have this encouraging article about new orleans:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/25/dining/25orleans.html?pagewanted=1&hp

roy comes home tomorrow from a youth group trip and boy am i ready!
Yesterday when i got up, i was just ready for him to come back. Monday
- Wednesday I was okay, it was almost even an adventure for it just to
be me and Iris, but...Thursday...I was ready. So, tomorrow! yay!

well, i think i'm going to go home and hang out with my lil sis...
but ya'll have a good weekend. i know i will, just because it'll get
to be with Roy. yes, we really are that cheesy. sorry.

bye.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/07/23/poll-blacks-whites-dont-see-eye-to-eye-on-race-relations/

if anyone has cable/tivo

I really want to see the "Black in America" thing that CNN has...but
we don't have cable...so if you want to save it for me, feel free!

links:

interesting:
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1820828,00.html

embarrassing!
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/11/us/11mississippi.html?_r=2&ref=us&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

oh dear:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/business/20debt.html?pagewanted=4&ei=5087&em&en=0409650470deb162&ex=1216872000

wedding pictures!

i just printed all (well, almost) the pictures that my sister took my
wedding weekend. and when i say "I just printed" i mean i just ordered
them online. they should get here next week sometime, i think. I'm
kinda excited. we haven't printed any of our pictures out, except like
on regular paper with our own printer, which just doesn't look as
good. i did print out one 8x10 at walgreens, but it just didn't look
very good--and roy's mom had her mouth open. so I'm excited about
this. and they'll have a white border around the edges. you can come
to our house and look at them. we have so many pictures, though, i'm
afraid we're going to have to amke a serious investment in photo
albums...i don't have the patience to sort through on the computer and
only print the "good" ones, so i'm just going to print all of them out
and then go from there.

whee.

baby update ( a lil late) and other stuff

Iris is ten weeks away from her due date. Holy Crap!!!! I forget what
exactly babycenter.com said about her, but i think it's that she's as
large as a cabbage. I can definitely feel her a lot better. Also, I
went to the doctor yesterday, and apparently everything is going fine.
They had to prick my finger and make sure I wasn't diabetic, but I
wasn't, so that's good. She's growing and kicking a lot. I have four
stretch marks! Since Roy is gone, last night I just watched TV and she
kicked a lot then. I'm definitely starting to feel the heat a lot
more...i don't really go outside in the heat of the day, but
basically, at this point in a Mississippi summer, every time of the
day is hot and humid. Yesterday Jackson tied the record at 101
degrees! Yikes!

Roy is gone, and I'm finding that I do really miss him...but also that
it's just really boring without him. I watched three hours of TV (not
counting the news) because I couldn't think of anything else to do
(even though i could have cleaned up the kitchen or something useful
like that). I didn't want to read a book 1) because we don't have any
new books and 2) because I just finished "Their Eyes were Watching
God" and loved it and wanted it to sink in some more. So ... i just
watched TV? I got really sick of the same ads over and over again,
even though it was amazing how the food ads really drew me in. I
really did keep thinking, even though I had already eaten, "maybe i
should go get some of that and it would amke me feel happy!" but I
didn't. Most likely because I was too lazy. Pray for him that he would
be safe. They are doing a lot of manual labor--even though i think he
said they didn't have to work outside, but my paranoid pregnant mind
is still worried about him. But i'm trying not to worry too much.

We had a great ol' party for Roy Sunday night. Someone left almost a
six pack of good beer at the house, though, and I kinda wish they
would come back and claim it--I can't drink it and Roy's not here to
drink it, so it's kinda just a sad reminder. :(

Okay...i'd better get back to work...maybe Roy will post from the Bay??

Birthday Gathering for Roy!

Hello Friends!

Roy's birthday is next Wednesday, but he's going to be gone at RYM. I
don't really have the energy to have a whole real party for him, but
I'm planning on making some kind of tasty treat to eat Sunday night,
after church, at our house...and we'd love for you to come! (That
makes the approximate time 7:30, I guess, but it kinda depends on
who's preaching!)

If you want to bring anything, I won't turn it down [the benefits of
being pregnant!]--food, presents, balloons, flowers, cards--but you
certainly don't have to bring more than yourself and good wishes.

And please tell other people you know that love Roy--I most certainly
don't have everyone's email addresses...but everyone is invited! I'm
probably going to have to hack into his email to invite other people,
but feel free to invite other people that like him.

Thanks! I look forward to seeing all of ya'll that can come!

Oh, and he'll be 27!

-Emily (and Iris)

holy crap!

Too Muslim to be French?
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1822189,00.html
(and some of her practices are things that evangelicals like!)

and this one, just for fun: Hellboy review
http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1821613,00.html

oddly enough, this is the only comic book movie i've felt like going to see.

Baby update, quickly...

ROy's on his way to get me (yay for the weekend...)

but this is what they are saying about our baby:

Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and
is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs
are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room
for his developing brain. This trimester, about 250 milligrams of
calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day.

also, (drumroll please) she has a middle name!
Iris Lorraine Hubbard

Roy came up with it and i LOVE LOVE it.

and when i ate ginger snaps last night, she wouldn't stop kicking. it
was kinda painful.

well, that's about all from here. have a good weekend!

Oh dear...

http://theboard.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/03/the-shame-of-mississippi/?ex=1231041600&en=d57ec07b9cf841d4&ei=5087&WT.mc_id=OP-D-I-NYT-MOD-MOD-M051-ROS-0708-L2&WT.mc_ev=click&mkt=OP-D-I-NYT-MOD-MOD-M051-ROS-0708-L2

i just skimmed this...

But I think wendell berry usually has good things to say:

http://www.harpers.org/archive/2008/05/0082022

baby update (a day early)

Okay, since tomorrow is the 4th, i won't be at work, and therefore
won't have internet (and will probably be sleeping), so this is our
baby update. (again, courtesy of babycenter.com).

How your baby's growing: (week 28)
By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a
Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to
her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her
eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in
through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her
brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside
world.

also, I'm apparently in the third trimester (or i will be tomorrow!)
yay! this also means that i could be ready to give birth in as little
as nine weeks! I forget the right terminology, but apparently most
babies are actually ready to come into the world at 37 weeks, but 40
weeks is when the doctors tell you your pregnancy should be over...and
labor usually happens closer to that time, as well. any nurses want to
explain all that?

on a slightly related note, i've realized that iris will be born about
the time football season is getting underway, and i'm kinda hoping
that i have labor on a saturday, so at least i can watch a game while
i'm struggling through. her due date is actually the day before the
MSU/LSU (my and roy alma maters, respectively) game, which kinda feels
significant. I don't think i would go so far as to be induced on
purpose, but....I really like college football. a lot. especially
mississippi state football. of course, i'm not sure how this whole
labor thing will be, but i've just been thinking about that. my
mom's first labor was only six hours, so if i'm anything like her,
that's only a little bit longer than a football game. sorry this
paragraph is so foolish.

i went to the doctor on monday and i don't have gestational diabetes
(yay!), my uterus is 27 cm tall (is that the right dimension?), i
heard her heartbeat, and they didn't tell me i'd gained too much
weight. i'm pushing 160 at home, 165 at the doctors (i guess their
scale is the accurate one, right?) and i feel huge, but apparently i'm
doing okay. being pregnant is the only time i've ever felt guilty for
not eating enough AND eating too much. i definitely have too many
people's voices in my head about weight. odd. my next visit is three
weeks from monday and then i'll start going every two weeks.

I've done some registering, too. I still haven't really gotten serious
about putting big-ticket items on the registries...I'd so much rather
buy them at the Pear Orchard baby sale they are having at the end of
august, than have someone else pay full price for something that's so
extravagant and beyond our needs--it seems like it's impossible to
just get plain stuff. oh--they are at target and babys'r'us, by the
way. I also went to Lemuria (local indie bookstore) and made a list of
books I would like to have. I had to remember that i needed not just
the books from my childhood, but also books with characters of colors.
i could have stayed there all day instead of goign to the actual baby
stores to register.

other things i'd like: the miracle blanket (to help with swaddling), a
baby sling (i forget which kind), toys without batteries, things that
aren't pink.

things i have already been offered: a crib, a pack-n-play (it's
wonderful--all my older sister's friends are apparently deciding that
their childbearing days are over after a coupla kids, and i am reaping
the benefits!), an infant car seat (even though i still haven't
decided if i should take it, because it's older than six years and the
industry says you shouldn't use one that's that old...but are they
just protecting their products? I don't know), and then four of my
friends are going in together and buying me a Mountainsmith for
a diaper bag, which i'm really excited about. i guess it's a little
spoiled of me, but i just can't see myself walking around with a quilted bag
with monograms. and i know i could just use a tote bag or something, but...i don't know..i also kinda wanted one that would look good on roy, too, since he'll be pretty involved with childcare. though to be honest, i didn't ask his opinion at all.

I've had my calf cramp once and my toes once, and i'm definitely
starting to swell a lil bit... but it's damn hard to put your feet up
when you can't sit comfortably (aka slouchy, in my case) because your
uterus will squash your nerves. I'm still figuring that out.

non-baby related things:

I cooked a chicken and made cookies last night...I haven't been that
productive in a while. but i didn't clean up, either. now i have one
tub filled with chicken pieces, two very nice looking chicken breasts,
one tub full of broth, and some oat-meal raisin cookies. i'm trying to
figure out how to make those into meals. (not the cookies). I'm trying
to be better about not letting food go to waste, so...we'll see what i
come up with. i'm thinking chicken salad for the pieces (or just
eating it for lunch), using the breasts for a meal (they taste SOO
good...i basically stewed it with onions and green pepper and celery
and poultry seasoning and of course, salt and pepper), and using the
broth to make either soup or red-beans-and-rice (which i'm really
leaning towards). the recipe i read had beef broth, but will it really
matter? i'm also still eating on the vegetables from our sunday
pot-roast. hopefully i'll be done soon.

i really like cooking.

roy is speaking tonight at summer ruf. i like to call his talk "why
are Christians so annoying?" but it's really "why are christians so
judgmental and ______?" (i can't remember the other word.) he's using
the passage about the publican and the pharisee. it should be pretty
good.

also, my little sister is raising money to be an RUF intern, so if
you've got a few extra bucks, or some time to pray for her, please
give generously. she'll be at colorado state university. heck, you can
give sacrificially, too, if you want to. i can tell you that you will
definitely enjoy receiving her newsletters. i wish i could just direct
you to a website where you could give real easily, but i don't think
RUF has that capability.

We (or Roy, really) are raising money for RUF-Tougaloo, too (and some
of you have given and we really appreciate it!), but her need is
definitely more immediate, since she can't go to the campus until she
raises 70% of her support (=.70*~30,000)! She's making progress, but
every little bit helps. she and roy have the biggest hearts for the
gospel and sharing the gospel of any people i know, so i really want
her to be able to go tell the hippies about Jesus... (and roy to tell
the tougalooites)...and I'll just tell Iris.

okay. I need to get to work. but i just wanted to keep y'all updated.

what happens when you run out of babies!

Low fertility rates in Europe and elsewhere:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/29/magazine/29Birth-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

good ol' baby update:

"This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of
cauliflower) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended.
She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing
her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue
developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are
still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of
medical help — if she were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic
movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be
common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and
they don't bother her, so just relax and enjoy the tickle."

taken from here: http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-pregnancy-27-weeks_1116.bc

she also apparently likes sweet potatoes.

i know, it's nascar...but it's interesting

kudzu the next bio-fuel?

http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/nascar/cup/columns/story?columnist=mcgee_ryan&id=3461697&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab3pos1

Oh. My.

Good ol' Dr. Dobson...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/06/24/evangelical.vote/index.html

God is good

...all the time.

So today, one of my co-workers had to leave early and so she just gave
me a whole thing of blackberries! Not enough for a pie, but certainly
enough to make my day better. When I was a kid, we lived in the country
and used to pick blackberries all the time--even last year, I went and
picked blueberries with my mom at the berry farm off of west county
line. This year, I don't think being out in the heat and humidity is
really my thing (thank you Iris!) but I sure wouldn't say no to some
berries!

Also, my husband never fails to preach the gospel, and I love him and am
proud of him. He also watches DragonballZ.

monday links:

Neighbors:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/23/opinion/23lovenheim.html?pagewanted=1

Scholar:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/22/world/europe/22chadwick.html

i wish my computer had speakers...

http://www.myspace.com/bifrostarts

so i'll have this...baby check list--any additions/subtractions?

Newborn necessities checklist
A master list for moms and dads

Consumer Reports Video
BUYING ADVICE
Newborn necessities
Here's a checklist of what you should have on hand before your baby arrives.

Tooling around
_____Car seat.
_____Stroller.

Beds and linens
_____Crib.
_____Crib mattress.
_____Bassinet/cradle (if you don't want to put your baby in a crib right away).
_____Two to three fitted crib sheets.
_____Four or more waffle-weave cotton receiving blankets for swaddling baby
_____Two mattress pads.
_____One to two waterproof liners (for crib or bassinet).

Diaper duty
_____Diapers. Disposables: One 40-count package of newborn (birth
weight under 8 pounds) or of
size 1 (birth weight over 8 pounds). Cloth: Two to three dozen, plus
six to 10 snap-on, waterproof
outer pants, and two to three sets of diaper pins, eight to 10
all-in-ones or diaper system covers;
two to three dozen diaper system inserts.
_____Diaper pail (with refills or bags as needed).
_____Diaper bag.

Dressing baby
_____Four sleeping outfits or one-piece sleepers with attached feet.
_____Six side-snap T-shirts.
_____Four to six one-piece undershirts that snap around the crotch.
_____A small baby cap (although the hospital will probably give you one).
_____Six pairs socks/booties.
_____Two to three soft, comfortable daytime outfits. Get only a few
items in newborn size. Then, go for
clothing in the 6-month size--your baby will grow into it quickly. But
don't buy baby sleepwear
that's too big--it's a safety hazard.
_____Cotton sweater or light jacket.

Summer babies
_____Brimmed hat.

Winter babies
_____Snowsuit with attached mittens or fold-over cuffs, or heavy bunting.
_____Heavy stroller blanket.
_____Warm knit hat.

Feeding time
If you're planning to breast-feed:
_____Three to five nursing bras.
_____A box of washable or disposable breast pads.
_____Breast pump if you expect to use one (manual or electric).
_____Four small baby bottles with newborn nipples for storing
expressed breast milk.
_____Bottle-drying tree.
_____Bottle brush.
_____Insulated bottle holder for diaper bag (the hospital may give you one).
_____Three packs of cloth diapers or burp cloths.
If you're planning to bottle-feed:
_____Six 4- to 5-ounce bottles, plus nipples, rings, and a dishwasher
basket if you use a dishwasher.

Bathing/Grooming
_____Plastic infant bathtub.
_____Three soft hooded towels.
_____Two packs of baby washcloths.
_____Baby body wash that doubles as shampoo.
_____Pair of blunt-tip scissors or baby-sized nail clippers.
_____Zinc-oxide-based diaper rash ointment.
_____Soft brush and comb.
_____Mild laundry detergent.

Medicine chest essentials
_____A pain-and-fever reducer recommended by your baby's doctor, such
as Infant's Tylenol.
_____Cotton pads/swabs.
_____Nasal aspirator.
_____Digital rectal thermometer.
_____Rubbing alcohol.
_____Petroleum jelly.

Keeping baby happy
_____Pacifiers.

Extras: Nice but optional
_____Baby monitor.
_____Changing table.
_____A rocker or glider.
_____Sling or strap-on soft carrier.
_____Boppy, a doughnut-shape pillow designed to make holding baby
during breastfeeding or
bottlefeeding easier.
_____Nursing coverup. Attaches at your neck and allows for private
breastfeeding when you and your
baby are in public.
_____Infant swing.
_____Bouncy seat.
_____Night-light.

Happy Juneteenth!

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1815936,00.html

i bet this is AMAZING!

Willie Nelson and Wynton Marsalis...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0016NF06O/ref=pe_24490_9556600_as_txt_7/

morning links...none of then happy

funny-ish:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/weather/06/18/midwest.flooding.pigs.ap/index.html

bizarre:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/06/18/canada.feet/index.html

sad:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/06/19/darfur.rape/index.html

an endearing story

So, this morning, in the bathroom with Roy, he farted (something that
happens in our house a lot). But for some reason, it just made me
think about how much I would miss him when he died (assuming I outlive
him). And so I said, "Roy, I'm going to miss you when you die," and
hugged him. He hugged me back, inhaled, and said, "You might want to
get out of here! It's pretty bad!"

The Hubbards--stinky and sentimental. Come over any time, but bring a candle.

the food section of the NYT got me today...

let's go home and cook!

garlic
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/18/dining/18appe.html?pagewanted=1&ref=style

white lily is leaving knoxville :(
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/18/dining/18flour.html?pagewanted=1&ref=style

homemade popsicles
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/18/dining/18mini.html?em&ex=1213934400&en=41e89b4916b63dfd&ei=5087%0A

"touch of grace buscuits"
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/18/dining/181frex.html?em&ex=1213934400&en=7870c3f990e159b9&ei=5087%0A

interesting...

an article about the harmfulness of come kinds of feminism (especially
alice walker's):
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1021293/How-mothers-fanatical-feminist-views-tore-apart-daughter-The-Color-Purple-author.html

in fairness, a rebuttal (isn't slate pretty liberal?):
http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/xxfactor/

baby update!

Your baby rivals the average rutabaga in weight -- about 1 1/2 pounds.
(Length: 13 1/2 inches, head to heel.)

Do you want a free house?

FW: [Freecycle-JacksonMS] OFFER: HOUSE to relocate (Brandon/Reservoir area)

Approximately 1400 sq.ft. house on conventional foundation: 3
bedrooms, 2 baths, living room with fireplace, eat-in kitchen (range,
venthood, and refrigerator included).
Built 1930s, completely renovated 3 years ago.
Free to anyone who will be responsible to move it and demolish
enclosed den area on slab foundation (cannot be moved).
Available around August 1st.
Please contact if you have further questions or would like to make an
appointment for viewing.
Serious inquiries only.

also

girls night tonight (and every tuesday)...7ish

JK Rowling speech

http://harvardmagazine.com/go/jkrowling.html

interesting...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1024927/The-wife-John-McCain-callously-left-behind.html

this article actually sounds like books i used to read...and would
still read if i made it to the welty library.

um...
the mimosas and magnolias are blooming and the air is scented if you
drive through the right part of town. it's kinda lovely.

baby update!

i'm now 24 weeks--the last week of the second trimester! damn!

also, my uterus is the size of a soccer ball. (or foot ball, depending
where you live). if you've seen my belly recently, you'd agree.

so, anyway: Your baby has caught up with an ear of corn in size and
gained about 1/4 pound since last week. (Length: almost a foot.)

she's a growing! and i can't stop eating. wednesday night at youth
group i had four pieces of fried chicken! it was bizarre.

we just have to get through June, July, August, and September--and
we'll have a baby to hold in our hands (instead of my belly.)

daily links....

football on TV
http://clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080603/SPORTS/80603017

value of "at home mom" calculated:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/05/09/mom.salary.ap/

"study to crack evangelical stereotypes"
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/05/22/evangelicals.ap/index.html

enjoy!

i hope roy will tell you this himself...

but if he doesn't, ask me to tell you the story entitled, "Roy, the
possum avenger!"

good stories:

South African Xenophobia
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1810805,00.html

A Wonderful way to work!
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1810690,00.html

question...

is it ever appropriate to tell a co-worker they are driving you crazy?
especially when he/she isn't doing anything wrong, just...being ...
too... something?

i'm afraid that i just need to suck it up and get sanctified, but i
wish i didn't have to.

in other news, we went to the dr. yesterday and had a great, if short,
visit. i hate when our appointment is at say, 9:50 and we see the
doctor for five minutes at eleven. but we heard the heartbeat
(whoosh/whoosh). i guess it would make me feel better if the doctor
actually examined me everytime (i mean, maybe not something that would
make me take my clothes off) but at least a little bit more than
asking me how i am and how things are going, 'cause i've never been
this pregnant before--it's not like I really know what should be
happening. i assume things are fine, but i don't really know. i think
if he just felt my swelling abdomen and was like, "yep, that's a baby
and that's how it's supposed to feel" i would feel a lot better.

also, roy lost his phone and got a new one, so call him today with
your number. and elbert and andrew barnes are taking the oral
ordination exams, so say a prayer.

okay. back to being diligent.

baby update!

she's growing like a weed! i'm guessing two more weeks before my belly
button pops all the way out.

according to babycenter.com: Your baby weighs about as much as a
large mango -- just over a pound. (Length: more than 11 inches.)

i'm 23 weeks now... only ...what, 17 weeks left. or so. damn!

quick update

so, we got home safely...work is super busy. roy poked himself in the
eye, with the aid of a bouncing basketball, but he seems to be
healing. the weekend was gorgeous and busy and exhausting.
maybe i'll post more about it later if you are interested.

here are some interesting links from the day's news:

a high profile mixed couple discusses: Commentary: Why Americans
can't get over race
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/05/29/cohens.race.politics/index.html

For real? Commentary: Slavery alive and well in U.S.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/05/28/beck.immigrantworkers/index.html

Concurrent: After Immigrant Raid, Iowans Ask Why
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1809727,00.html

Tony Blair and Faith and Works--Would Tim Keller Agree?
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1810020-1,00.html

This is an interesting article...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/05/27/tranracial.adoption.ap/index.html

What do you think?

good morning, new york!

Well, we made it safely.  I only thought I was going to go crazy once...well, maybe twice. Yesterday was the longest I'd walked and the longest I'd been on moving vehicles since I've been pregnant....not enjoyable.  But we are here now--I'm actually in Queens right now , and we're going to the Met later today. New York is still at the end of spring, and it's lovely here, though a bit wet. --guess who forgot their rain jacket?

Okay. Me n' Iris need to eat breakfast, so I'd better go, but I'm sure ya'll were all worried. Just kidding.
But we are here. If we do anything radically fun, I'll let ya know.

two pictures from graduation...more to come

I'll let you guess who's who.

stuff

tomorrow we fly to NYC for my sister's wedding-in-central-park.

by way of detroit.

may 29 there is a book signing at lemuria (free wine and other
refreshments) that i have to go to--your presence would be
appreciated. i think it starts around five.

christy is flying with me and roy.

i've never flown pregnant before.

i've only flown like two other times, if i remember right. i'm a
little anxious. not too much, but a little.

also, today, i am very tired.

i like roy.

the end.

I've decided: I really REALLY want this:

http://www.moleskine.com/eng/_interni/catalogo/Cat_int/catalogo_city.htm

Catalogs and emails

Dear J. Crew,

I love your clothes, even though I can barely afford to pay for them
when they are on sale. However, getting catalogs and emails from you
currently is an exercise in futility. Until you come out with a
maternity line (com'on, you have kids, dogs, and YOGA!), would you
mind not sending me things for the next four months? The double
frustration of not being able to afford or to fit into your clothes is
something I could do without. If you could resume sending sometime in
mid-October, I would really appreciate it. Or if you developed a
maternity line, I might even pay full price for something!

Thanks so much for your consideration,

Emily Hubbard

more...

these were also pretty good:

community gardens--maybe roy and i can work in it some!
http://clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/FEAT/80516026/1001/news

i think this one's about a bear
http://clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/NEWS/805160341/1001/news

meth lab or moonshine still? yes, we live in Mississippi
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200880515008

interesting news items:

Be careful who you marry--they could get you sick or sent to jail!

http://clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/NEWS/805160358&referrer=FRONTPAGECAROUSEL

Royalty comin' our way...

http://clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/FEAT/80516001

A white valedictorian at an HBCU
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/05/16/white.valedictorian/index.html

also, <baby update>
Iris is as long as a carrot (not a baby carrot, but a real one) and
supposedly weighs 3/4 of a pound. When people look at me, they know
I'm pregnant. Without a doubt. I'm also more confident that I'm
feeling movement. Sometimes I have to tell her to stop kicking her
momma.

This is in honor of Roy who should be finishing up his LAST exam right now...or in the next few hours. i love him.

we thought this was pretty funny

http://www.time.com/time/quotes/0,26174,1739710,00.html

Laguna Beach Christian Retreat....

View Larger Map

My sister and Roy's brother are going to be there...i kinda wish i was...

also, holy crap!

Yes, sh** like this still happens in our state.

link:
http://clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080512/NEWS/80512010

busy week for the Hubbards!

Well, Roy has five exams and graduation this week, my (our) baby is
apparently doubling in size (at least that's what it feels like), and
there's a lot to do at work!

I feel (lately I've been saying that word like "fIll", not "fEEl" so
you should read it accordingly) like I had other things to say, but
I'm not sure what they are.

Oh, I've gotten to the point (the never ending pregnancy updates!)
where my belly stretches so I can breathe deeply. It's interesting.
Also, either my stomach was hurting or Iris kept kicking the same spot
repeatedly last night. It kinda hurt. I think she might have wanted me
to go to bed.

The google ads on my sidebar have links to L. Ron Hubbard sites. I
think it's funny.

Roy has three exams today, and then presumably two in the next three
days. I don't really know his schedule. I'm not sure if that makes me
a bad wife or not, but it does keep me from nagging him about school
work. and Friday, praise-the-Lord, he GRADUATES! no more school for
that Hubbard! I, on the other hand, am still not done. Maybe it will
keep me humble.

Also, somehow we managed to pay RTS so Roy can graduate. Well, really,
I think God paid RTS, because we're still eating, too. Also on the
God-looking-out-for-us front, somebody gave me much needed maternity
clothes and someone has offered us a Pack-n-play. And we had Caroline
Kimbrough over for Sunday dinner and she emptied and loaded my
dishwasher. And we paid my sister back for our plane tickets to New
York (we leave in a week and two days!).

I cooked my chicken all by myself--I couldn't find a recipe that I
wanted to us...I kinda pretended it was a pot roast, so I put
vegetables (carrots, potatoes, celery, green and red peppers) down on
the bottom of my dutch oven along with some water, and then put the
chicken on top. I think really you are supposed to secure the legs,
but I didn't have any string, so the chicken looked a little
lascivious. But I did remember to take the guts out. oh, and I poured
melted butter on it and spices, mostly rosemary and then poultry
seasoning. and I stuck it in the oven, covered, at 375 and got ready
for church in like five minutes (seriously, I finished the
preparations for the chicken at like 10:52) and hoped I wouldn't burn
the house down. Church went long, but the chicken was fine and
delicious. I especially liked the carrots! They were so sweet-tasting.
And after we were done eating, I went ahead and picked the carcass, so
we'll be having some sort of left-over chicken dish soon--it made me
feel VERY grown-up to be picking the carcass. I also spilled chicken
juice all over my kitchen in the course of taking it out of the
bag--gross! Just the thought of all the germs made me so nervous. But
I got out my clorox spray and hopefully that took care of it. So, if
you ever use a chicken in a bag, you might want to open it over the
sink.

okay. I have to go be diligent. Pray for Roy if you get a
chance...he's got a lot on his plate. but at least he's not going
through his ordination exams at the same time, like other folks we
know.

okay. bye!

Baby update!

I know you love 'em!

"Your baby has grown as big as a banana. (Length: about 6 1/2 inches from head to bottom, and 10 inches from head to heel.)" I am 20 weeks today...I think that makes me a little bit more than halfway through.

all this info comes from this website, by the way!
http://www.babycenter.com/slideshow-baby-size

i am definitely feeling big. not really fat, but extremely large. My belly button is getting shallower and shallower.

Also, it appears that our three finalists for Iris' middle name are Jean, Jane, and Blair.

What do you think? I'm worried that the perfect name is out there and we just have missed it, but...at some point (when we have to fill out her birth certificate, i guess) we'll just have to decide! I think i'm okay with a lil ambiguity, though, for right now.

and, at some point this weekend, i'm going to try to cook a whole chicken! whoa! maybe chicken potroast? i've never done it before, but it just looked really fun. (I know, i'm a cooking loser!)

and we're going to get to see the Coopers! yay!

okay. bye!

pray for me

not only am i sick and pregnant (I hate it that I can't take Nyquil)

My life seems to be extra messy and I'm having ethical dilemmas that
are not my fault, but I still have to figure out what Jesus would do
(or would have done) and if I need to repent and how I should behave
in the future. it's a mess.

but i do have a pretty wise husband to talk things over with, if we
ever have the time.

I wish Jesus would just come and tell us what to do.

Okay. Bye!

p.s., i had a mostly good birthday--Roy gave me great presents and
Christy brought me peonies (and herself!) and mom brought dinner and
andy came too and ginger paid for my lunch. and the hornets won.

poop

i think i'm getting sick.

pray for me?

I brought you into this world.....

Having a kid on the way begins to make me think about what to expect. One of the things I have been thinking about as a soon-to-be-dad is discipline. So, I have already begun to brainstorm about is the many one-liners (what I like to call "one-hitter-quitters") that my mother or the parents of my friends spoke to pretty much end any disciplinary problems with their children.

The most common I've heard (but my mom never used on me) is the statement, "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..." Imagine saying that to a 14 year old girl who starts questioning your authority, "I'm going to the school dance!" This hypothetical girl can be seen here.

or here.

Imagine saying that a 8 year old boy who just wants to watch Saturday morning cartoons in peace (in his Sponge Bob "drawls" (underwear)) and not clean his room. You can see this hypothetical kid of yours here.

Rather than look like this,

or do this,

You can just simply respond, "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."

So, I like to be prepared when it comes to this aspect of parenting, and I've stored about 9 more "one-hitter-quitters" into my repertoire (sp?) to lay down the law. I like to think about what to expect and how I would deal with certain situations (in a Christian manner, of course). I also want your input on some of your experiences...help me out....please. Here is the list I have so far:

1.) "Wait til your daddy gets home... " - I grew up in single parent home (mother), so this was one I often heard my friends' mothers say to their rebellious youth. It often brought instant submission, tears, repentance, good behavior, more tears, etc...did I say instantly already? Something about dad coming home from a hard day's work and wanting to find release when he got home, made his coming one of terror.

"Hand/Bring me that belt/(tree) switch..." - I've had only a handful of these, but this ploy is devastating because it is not only physical, but also psychological. The parent basically is, in response to a child's defiance, telling them to get the weapon, instrument, utensil, (from the Hebrew word, "cali," for you Hebrew scholars out there...) in which discipline will be administered. In my experience, you often break down crying in the process of walking to get the weapon to which you don't need to be hit...the damage is done. But there have been some who have tried to counter this discipline by bringing small tree switches or getting small, soft, or flimsy belts (like this one), only for the parent to retaliate by retrieving the weapon of destruction his or her self. These may look like this:

weapon of mass destruction 1
weapon of mass destruction 2

3.) [Expletive] - Believe it or not some parents resort to this and it works...I don't recommend it though. But I think a few of these will come out in the life of every parent.

4.) "I'm gon' fix you"...this is just as real as "I brought you into this world..." I just tremble at the thought of being "fixed."

5.) "Come here..." This is the cousin of "Bring/Hand me... #2" It adds an additional element of surprise as the child being disciplined doesn't know what to expect as he comes to you. It could be a swift pat on the backside, or a sharp blow to the gut or throat whichever you prefer, or a crisp spinning roundhouse kick much like this man's...check out his feet. Or you could just talk to them.

6.) "You gettin' smart?/Who you think you talkin' to?" - This question is probably the "Game-Changing-Performance" question of discipline. Just when a child thinks he has the upper hand and is going to assert himself in an argument and raises his voice a little above the speaking level of the house, then you can retort, "Who you think you talkin' to?" It changes the momentum.

7.) "Roll 'em ...I'll control him..." - This probably is just straight up New Orleans, uptown, 3rd ward language but when a female decides she is going to "roll her eyes at you," demonstrated here, you can just say, "You could roll 'em, but I'll control 'em." I honestly don't know what the expression means, but I think it pretty much means I punch you in the eye or something like that...I don't know. I was always scared for people when I heard somebody tell them this.

8.) (Calm response...) -I think this response is probably the most jolting because kids (and people in general) often want you to match their level of intensity when they get angry. It is the reason why so many people love Mr. Rogers and Dr. Huxtable; you can just never imagine them yelling at their kids. I can imagine Mr. Rogers being like, "C'mon now kids, let's settle down and breathe easy....aaaaahhh doesn't that feel refreshing? Let's talk now..."

9.) (Laugh...) - I think laughing for no apparent reason at your kid when they are being defiant basically throws them off. It's kinda not the right response to a kid that is mad at your not letting them use the car, but it does work well when they decide they are going to be the tough guy or gal. Just laugh...

So, this is all I have so far...still trying to work on more. Again, I need your help, input, insight, on more of these...so I can have the jump on these kiddos....I close with these words, "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him (Proverbs 22:15)." Again, that's just too real!

Peace.

Roy is watching top-ten basketball

And I'm bored.

I didn't have any exciting emails and nothing fantastic happened on facebook so i'm pretty much internetted out. I also might have to go to the bathroom.

Sorry...this may turn out to be another inane Emily post. whee! there was a thunderstorm last night. I woke up because of it or because of my bladder, but i didn't get back to sleep easily. I didn't mind too much--i kinda like thunderstorms. When that tornado-storm came past what was it, three weeks, a month ago? I was on my porch, watching it. but I wondered if Iris minded.

Iris, by the way, is our tentative first name for our daughter.  We had a middle name of "hope" but Roy didn't like it as much as I did (Sorry Kathryn!) and so we are on the lookout for a new middle name. We welcome suggestions, as long as you can handle rejection--We're picky.

I'm not as scared as I was on Wednesday about having a girl. But I'm still a little apprehensive. And so far, no one has seemed to take my fears really seriously. They just think things will be fine. And, really, of course, I'm probably a bit more liberal about gender than a lot of people we know (don't tell!), and talk about gender roles sometimes frustrates me, but I also realize (sometimes through painful experience) that gender-conforming makes your life easier. Ultimately, we just want a little girl (or a big girl) who is like ALL of Jesus' attributes--compassion AND courage, but if that same little girl likes to go shopping and paint her nails and wear makeup, her momma is not going to know what to do. I mean, I do have friends and sisters that have volunteered to step in and pinch-hit in those areas, but will it hurt my feelings if Iris likes things that I don't value? Or will it hurt her feelings? I know there were somethings (mostly boys) that I didn't talk to my mom about because I knew she would think it was stupid and/or foolish. But I do hate when being a girl means that you have to sit with the girls and talk about table-cloths or place mats instead of listening to the boys talk about interesting things like theology or sports. And while I'm not prepared to give our child a gender-neutral name (Iris is too pretty not to use, anyway), I would prefer that she not feel bound by extra-biblical cultural (or sub-cultural) gender constraints. And so...I guess if she does feel like conforming, I'll just have to get someone else to help her conform well.  Can you tell that I took a gender seminar in grad-school?

So... that was not really a productive or well-thought out post, but it is something that does worry me. Maybe I should worry more about her being mixed-race, but being a girl can be hard, too. Any thoughts? (Note: this is not necessarily a Roy-approved message...I know we've talked about it some, but I didn't make him read this before I posted it. I believe he would say something along the lines of "As long as she loves Jesus, it'll be okay.")

this song is stuck in my head...

http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/confederate-railroad/jesus-and-mama-10579.html

really, just the chorus.

let's see if this one works, too.

hiya!

baby pictures

Sorry this one is upside down. that top picture, if you look closely, shows that this baby is a girl.

Whee!

we are now accepting applications for arranged marriages!

cool baby name site:

http://www.nymbler.com/

Drumroll, Please....

Girl!

--
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Juno: some thoughts

Well, we watched it Sunday night...

I didn't like it at all. I had to talk it through with Roy before I could go to sleep, it was so...disquieting.

Bear in mind I'm pregnant and that I've lost a baby.

At the end I was so sad, I cried and cried (but quietly, so I wouldn't freak out the people who were watching it with us, in case they liked it). But it wasn't a beautiful-sad. It was a straight-up this-sucks sad. Nobody changed. Nobody grew (except for Juno's baby). A junior in highschool got a boy-friend. Whohoo. Everyone did exactly what they wanted. It's like the end of Judges...everyone did what was right in their own eyes. The man left his wife, the wife got her baby, Juno got her boyfriend and no consequences. Nobody wasn't selfish. Even the Juno character's carrying her child to term had less consequences--her family supported her, her medical expenses were paid, and she got to be even more different than the losers in high school who go to prom.

And the callousness towards the baby...of course, I'm sure it was calculated, to some extent, but...it hurt.

And of course there were some good moments--my favorite two: 1) when the stepmom chewed out the ultrasound technician. 2) when that boy said "I try really hard." And Ellen Page is REALLY pretty.

And it had fun clothes and was all indie and cute like that...and the music is the kind I usually like, but it just made my heart hurt.

And who the hell really says "wizard" all the time? I did get tired of teen-age language, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not sure what Roy thinks exactly, though I know we had similar feelings. Maybe he'll add some to this.

It's weird, because so many of my friends really liked this movie, but it just really...hurt and didn't heal.

baby update

baby is as big as a bell pepper (if he/she is average) and weights
almost seven ounces. i'm getting bigger and bigger!

lunch hour articles i liked:

I knew it: Math manipulatives are annoying and don't work as well!
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/25/science/25math.html?em&ex=1209528000&en=10de70f5b0a8d0f8&ei=5087%0A

Yikes! How would you minister to these people?
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/27/fashion/27trans.html?pagewanted=1&ref=style

The love story I wanted until I met Roy...
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/27/fashion/weddings/27vows.html?ref=style

to come later, my reaction to the movie Juno.

enjoy!

also, my birthday is in one week! i'd forgotten about it until today!

home again...home again...almost

we are almost home! we've been kid/house sitting since Tuesday. The parents are coming home at four (well, probably they'll get here at four thirty), and Roy and I will get to go home to our little house and sleep for a little bit. Then he has to intern tonight.

I think I can say that we've really enjoyed taking care of the kids. They've been fun, even though I'm pretty sure we've let them watch too much TV +/or be on the computer too much. But they've been pretty well behaved and helpful and you can tell that they REALLY love Roy. They like me, too, but they LOVE Roy. Of course, who wouldn't? He really is the best person I know, besides Jesus. So, yeah, the kids were okay.

But I'm homesick. The house we've been at is HUGE. The master bathroom could fit a double bed in it--maybe two. Even though the bathroom adjoins the bedroom, I have to walk farther to get to the toilet here, than in my house where I have to go through a hallway. At least it feels like it. This point, while it may seem silly to some, makes a lot of sense when you get up to urinate two-three times a night. But I'm pretty sure it's right. I miss having two percent milk to drink. I miss having fewer electronic distractions, though I don't begrudge Roy the chance to watch the play-offs on DirectTV. I miss my furniture. I miss my little kitchen, and the food that's in it (or that would be it we'd gone shopping). I miss being in Jackson-Jackson...I don't like feeling so surburban, even if it's really only 15 minutes away. I just miss...the smallness of our life. I'm glad our home doesn't have an entertainment center built in. We could probably keep the kids for another week if we got to keep them in our house. Of course, they would go crazy because we don't have that much to do.


in other news...

My next sonogram, the one that for some terrible reason I keep thinking of as the "reveal" sonogram (...someone's been watching too many home improvement TV shows!), is Wednesday. This really is great and I'm excited-but I'm also really scared. I know that everything is likely fine and that it'll be great to find out which pronoun applies to our kiddo, but sonograms make me so nervous because it was my first sonogram in the first pregnancy when we found out that something was wrong. And then in the aftermath of the miscarriage, I kept having to have them to see what was going on--but not to see a little kiddo squirming around. I guess maybe I haven't grieved about that part yet. But it's still really hard not to worry about everything connected to the pregnancy...if I'm gaining weight too fast or too slow, what it means that my stomach is upset, if I'll ever feel the baby move, if I'm alienating myself from my child because I don't like the control it has over my body, if I'm eating the right things so our kiddo will be healthy. I'm sure this is fairly normal and most of the time my rationality is able to squelch them, but it's not comfortable. But I'm also sure it's heightened because we have already lost a child. And I don't think we'll ever forget that first baby. ... ... but Roy is really good about reminding me that God is good (all the time) and it helps a lot. If you aren't married, don't get married until you can find someone that loves Jesus as much as Roy does.

I guess the older you get, the more things there are to be afraid of.

On that note, I'm going to go get ready for church. Or eat breakfast. I think baby is hungry.

What do ya'll worry about?

Love,
Emily