(yesterday's lament)

Single parenting yesterday made me forget about actually posting this vs writing it. It's the Lament for that Trauma group.

oh God, hi.

You have been our dwelling place for all generations

and you stuck by me in college and still now with all my literal and metaphorical mess

you delight in me.

I would like to formally state a complaint:"

adjusting to new life stuff is hard and 

realizing it's hard is also hard.

lost babies and ending this childbearing season on a loss...feel like the warriors

my garden in huntsville, my routine,

ALL THIS LAUNDRY, Jesus. 

Everything is different and

accepting the mercy of hard things.

"I don't know what I'm doing" wears thin.

I'm both tired and lazy, broken and tending towards indolence.

just an ol' mess.

So would you help me?

Jumpstart my brain into order

teach me to want goodness

help me with all that laundry.

I will praise you forever because I trust in you.

[I should know I wrote this at the park while my kids played]