Garden store breakdowns

Well I didn't actually break down in the garden store but I came pretty close. 

Standing in front of the bulb section just got to me. Crocuses and daffodils are some of my earliest memories. In Mississippi, they came up in February. 

We didn't move here in time to plant bulbs for this year's spring. 

Our church has a large budget deficit and has had to cut hours of some of our staff (but not Roy [but we are still paying for two places to live]). I am slowly realizing that despite how much stuff I love about St Louis, this move has been really hard in a lot of ways. 

Bulbs are hope. You bury them in the ground (right side up) and believe that 1) you will be there to see them bloom 2) they will bloom. 

I planted bulbs for the spring in the yard of a house we are renting. I planted irises (Dutch I think), daffodils, tulips, crocuses, and the bulb of the amaryllis I had in my kitchen window when we first moved in to our house. 

I'm not sure my heart trusts Jesus like I want it to, but those bulbs, man. I planted them. It's really hard not to believe that if I just had enough faith/prayed enough, God would sell our house and fund our church and everything would be fine and not precarious. But I planted the bulbs. I'll be watching for them as I struggle with the winter that's longer and colder than I'm used to.  I planted the bulbs.