another article, this one about marriage

i thought this was interesting...especially since i make roy talk to
me all the time. of course, it's from oprah, and i haven't gotten roy
to check out it's biblicalness...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/09/26/o.improve.your.marriage/index.html

but i think i liked the most what it said about compassion.

pray for our car

every time we get it fixed, it starts to break down again.

this isn't a really good time not to have a car, either.

love,
Emily

this is why i shouldn't read the new york times at work:

because this article made me cry.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/21/fashion/21love.html?pagewanted=1&em

but it's really good. maybe not quite appropriate for the next week
in my life, but...it is a little applicable. but it's really sad. if
you are pregnant, you might want to skip it.

if you do read it, i think it raises some interesting questions. it
does seem like our culture (big culture and subculture) doesn't really
have a good way to deal with unborn loss. Please don't turn this into
something about abortion--i realize it's related, but that's not what
i'm interested in.

this is a quote from the man after he sent out an email to his
college, telling about his still-born son:

"AND then came the outpouring: for weeks after, people I barely knew
would come into my office, gently shut the door and burst into tears.
I heard stories of single and serial miscarriages, pregnancies carried
nearly to full term, stillbirths — all the lost, lost children. Grief
hauled about, and nowhere to put it down. Some said they had never
told anyone; who would understand?"

When we lost our baby (our first baby, even if I don't take the time
to explain why I want to say "no" when people ask if Iris is our first
baby..I just say yes and move on), people kept telling us all their
sad stories, like our grief gave them permission to sort of re-grieve
and be sad again, even though some of them were very matter-of-fact,
and almost even jolly about their losses. At the time, i really wanted
to bitterly resent their sadness, that I was having to carry their
burden as well as the heavy weight of my own. I'm still not sure that
I would tell someone I knew had recently miscarried about mine. Nobody
else lost OUR baby, the pieces of DNA that could only come from me and
Roy and that merged together in a unique (and probably fatal) way and
lived in my belly for a little while.

And we are delighted to have Iris but she isn't the baby we lost.

this post maybe continued...but i really have to stop now. but anyway.
our culture sucks at baby grief. how can it get better?

stuff and baby update:

I've really been enjoying reading this:

http://commongroundsonline.typepad.com/common_grounds_online/2008/09/cgo-forum-on-de.html

best headline for the day, from our very own clarion ledger:
"Grant sought to catch dumpers"
http://clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080919/NEWS/809190347&referrer=FRONTPAGECAROUSEL

I am now at 39 weeks... only one more week til my due date. I'm not
going to quote babycenter because all it says is that Iris is getting
fatter and changing her skin. My weight has stabilized a little
though. I am having contractions occasionally, but not enough to have
a baby. I'm trying to have patience. Also, I have a date to be
induced: October 1. While I hope I don't have to use it, it's so nice
to know there's an end in sight and I won't be pregnant forever.

this looks tasty.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/17/dining/17mini.html?em

yes, this is my state...

we still have white supremacist rallies...in the town were i was born.
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080915/NEWS/809150338&referrer=FRONTPAGECAROUSEL

this is scary, i think:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/americas/09/11/venezuela.us/index.html

i know i'm pregnant

but this made me cry:

http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080912/SPORTS030102/809120335/1079

i'm not a football nerd, i promise

http://web1.ncaa.org/football/exec/rankingSummary?year=2008&org=430

this made me chuckle:

This is a short excerpt from a book review in the Wilson Quarterly (we get it at work). The book being reviewed is called Original Sin: A Cultural History and is written by a Wheaton professor.

"Jacob's most original and provocative argument is that original sin has strong democratic implications. Denial of original sin leads to elitism....Original sin, on the other hand, is egalitarian because it means that everyone is alienated from God and has an innate tendency to sin. Equally egalitarian is the belief that Christ died in order to give everyone the liberty to escape sin. No one person can dare to consider himself or herself better than others, and no nation or race should dare to do so either. Jacobs offers this fascinating angle on the age-old debate in a splendid book."

The reviewer is an emeritus professor of history at UC-Santa Barbara.

Who knew that was original and provocative?!

i'm not in labor...

but here are two interesting NYTimes stories:

this one is interesting because i'm taking a gender class this semester:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/09/science/09tier.html?em

this one because i know so many nurses...and wonder what a preacher
would say to this lady:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/09/health/09case.html?em

Baby update!

I am 37 weeks today! that means...three weeks until my due date, but
also that Iris is full-term and can happily survive outside the ol'
uterus. Yay!

Here's the babycenter update:
How your baby's growing:
Congratulations — your baby is full term! This means that if your baby
arrives now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to
life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks
away.

Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head
to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of
hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But
don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours.
Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their
children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have
been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies
sport only peach fuzz.

I also have this horrible rash. it's associated with being pregnant,
but not all pregnant people have it. But it's terrible. I have
hydrocortisone cream and benadryl that i'm taking and it's making it
better, but i'm still itching and i have weird bumps spreading over my
body. Pray that I don't scratch myself to death. I've never been good
at not-scratching, and it's even worse because I have very little
comfortable clothes still...and even fewer that I can wear to work.

We have one last baby shower this saturday. If anyone wants to
volunteer to help us organize all our stuff, feel free. Maybe Saturday
later afternoon? We still need to get a lot of our stuff out of the
way.

We do have a car seat now...we just need to get it into the car. And
our car is fixed and will run safely, too. Yay! But I don't have a bag
packed. Maybe I'll do that this weekend. Also, if anyone wants to
make mix cds for us to listen to during labor, feel free.

oh, and also, I'm one centimeter dilated. This doesn't mean anything
except that the process has started...i could have a baby now or five
weeks from now. I'm kinda hoping that the full moon (september 15)
will have an effect. I don't think I would be so eager to deliver if
it wasn't for this darn rash...I want to be not-pregnant so it will go
away!

Well, I have a lot a lot a lot to do at work, so I'd better go, but
that's our story for today.